On the road to gaining back my sanity, I’ve lost my voice in return. A season of discipline, holding my thoughts back when they tread too close to the pool of complaints, biting my tongue when my gut wants me to fight, facing the mirror and having the humility to say, “Stop talking, you are wrong.” The seams of my most honest words have always been scraps salvaged from a mental bloodbath, so here’s a confession –
When i’m hurt, i write too much.
When i write, it hurts too much.
Forgive me if i’m enjoying the hoarse absence of my angst right now. Lukewarm waves have been lapping the curves of my arms, my legs, my head during this rest. Every attempt at forging something worth reading without ripping myself apart may sound too much like a pitiful croak of Will you still listen to me? But i almost don’t care. I am afloat. I am looking up at the clouds. I am saying ‘thank you’ before I have to dive again.
Written September 11, 2018 7:29 PM