I know I know I know okay I’m sorry
Here I am talking about how much I hate Instagram and how unhealthy it is for me…and then I drag the blog into it!!!
I just wanted to tell you, to mark the exact day of my downfall and also to hand you the right for an ENORMOUS “I-told-you-so” if this all goes wrong
But I started an instagram for the same reason I started the blog: to practice. I’m hoping this doesn’t turn into an outlet for pure angst and overthinking but that it helps me to be in a more present headspace. Hopefully I learn to hold the tiny gratitudes, curiosities, and even disturbances (pls limit yourself on the last one) in my palm a little longer so that i can say ‘Today is today and I am here and things can matter in this 24-hour sandwich’. AKA my attempt at living…better (?)
I also also also just want to provide proof that I’m doing the most of what I can with I have. That if all else gets taken away from me and I choose not to write anymore one day, my voice will still echo more as a ‘thank you’ than a ‘sorry’. And sometimes immortalizing this hobby means turning to a different, more readily available platform.
Last and final reason: I really miss people. My cousins and old friends who I don’t get to see often – their absence gets extremely heavy when free time lands on my lap. Most of the time, I end up just sitting there corralling all the bullet points I need to bring up once we see each other again, but those thoughts actually never make it out of my brain. So at the very least this will be my way of keeping in touch.
There are a lot of promises threaded into this post. I might break all of them, and I need you to give me room for that possibility. (I think I’m talking to myself now). But the blog is not going to evaporate okay I won’t let it…yet.
Even as I’m writing this, it’s different than what I produce on an Instagram post or my personal super secret diary (which I once left out in the open at my internship site a couple weeks ago but that’s a story for a different time). So all this to say, my blog still has a purpose and it’ll continue to be a home for updates and poetry and I will definitely refer to it multiple times as the only gem I cared about in college. Thank you to anyone who still listens to me through here, I remember every single one of you and constantly wonder how you’re doing too.
I tried very hard not to make this sound like a goodbye, but it’s turning out to be the start of one.
Do not worry!! I will try to stall as much as I can.
In the meantime, here is an updated picture of me
Writing Instagram: @franrants